


in the middle of the night (in my dreams)

by KittyViolet



Category: New Mutants, X-Men (Comicverse), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: F/F, First Time, Friends to Lovers, Late Night Conversations, Non-Sexual Intimacy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-18
Updated: 2019-04-18
Packaged: 2020-01-15 23:46:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18509548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KittyViolet/pseuds/KittyViolet
Summary: This is not the talk Dani thought she would have.





	in the middle of the night (in my dreams)

**Author's Note:**

> Set shortly after New Mutants (first series) no. 21.

The mansion, of course, has a rec room, and the rec room, of course, is open at all hours, and Illyana, of course, keeps odd hours, and sometimes she thinks she’s awake when her roommate Kitty, and all the other New Mutants, are asleep. So she’s a bit surprised, but not very surprised (she’s got good instincts: Kitty once called it her Spider-sense) when Dani taps her on the shoulder, walks around the beat-up suede couch, and sits down beside the Russian girl.

“How are you doing?” Illyana says. “Also, why are you up?”

“I don’t sleep much more than you do these days,” Dani says. “But I’m getting better. Also I think I’m just always on Mountain Time.”

“Ready to take us all horseback riding, then?” Illyana says. She’s tamed and ridden four-footed demons, but since she left Russia as a much younger girl she’s never been on a horse.

“Maybe just you,” Dani says. “Or you and a friend. Or”—she pauses—“all of us one by one. But maybe you first. Farm girl, right?”

Illyana smiles slightly. “Farm girl, sword girl, same difference.” Then she stops. “Do people say same difference?” Sometimes—though not this time—she gets idioms wrong: that’s what happens when you learn English all at once from a professor—you sound like a book.

Both of them open books and read for a while. Illyana has Pushkin. Dani’s been switching back and forth between Willa Cather, Dee Brown, and a short, glossy book about rehab and physical therapy. Then she lets all three books close.

“But Illyana,” Dani says. “I’ve noticed a thing we should probably talk about first.” The girl from the mountains takes the blond girl’s hand.

“Yes?” says Illyana, wary. The collar of her button-down pajamas flops over, askew. She leans in slightly.

“I’ve noticed—and I should let you know first that I have had some of the same feelings myself—some remarkable feelings between you and…. your roommate.”

“Kitty.” Illyana does not ordinarily blush, despite her fair skin, but of course Kitty does; Magik blushes, a little, on Shadowcat’s behalf.

“Yes,” Dani says. “I wouldn’t set out to discover such things, of course—“

Has Kitty been having Very Serious Conversations with Dani? Illyana’s surprised: the people her roommate trusts most, besides herself, have been Karma (who’s not on the team at the moment) and Logan and Storm. Who aren’t in town either. Maybe it’s not a surprise.

Dani’s not finished talking. “I wouldn’t set out to discover such things, but my powers have started to show me what I would not ordinarily see. Not just fears; desires. I’ve been doing some Danger Room practice, and I think I’m learning how to show people not just what they fear, but also what they most deeply want. Whether or not they want me to know. Sometimes I just…. see what they want, if I’m near them enough.”

Now Illyana’s baffled. As far as she knows, her mind can’t be read. Not even by Charles Xavier. It’s an aftereffect of her terrible years in Limbo: she's built up psychic shielding like nobody’s business.

Dani’s still not finished. “I don’t know if you know this, Illyana, but… I like girls too. I’ve been waiting for the right one, if one ever comes along, and I’m not sure who it would be—if there’s someone out there for me. I know that she might be too young right now, or set up with a guy, or otherwise just not there. But I do know something about these feelings. And I wanted you to know that if you, too, share them, I’m someone who cares and can listen.”

Now Illyana is even more baffled. “I thought you knew. What’s this if?” They’re still holding hands, but it’s definitely chaste now. Which is what Illyana was hoping for: she’s thought about other girls, but not right now, and certainly not without talking to Kitty about the terms first. Nonexclusive doesn’t mean deceptive. But can Dani read Illyana’s mind? Or not?

“Oh, I can’t read your mind,” Mirage explains. “As far as I know nobody can read your mind. Also I can’t read thoughts, or memories, as the professor can, at all. It’s more like seeing dreams. When I see what somebody fears, or what someone desires, I have no idea when or whether it ever happened. All I know is what they are likely to run from. Or, now—and it’s sometimes wonderful and sometimes just really awkward—what they want.”

“If you can’t read my mind, how can—“ Illyana says, and stops. “Oh.”

“I know Kitty’s not on our team,” Dani says. “But we certainly hang out. Also she’s the one who told me about Elfquest.” Of course she would be. That’s probably why Dani and Rahne have been spending so much time reading a very thick comic together. And drawing, together, pictures of wolves. “And Kitty”—Mirage moves her braid from one side of her neck to the other—“Kitty has feelings for you. A lot of feelings. All the feelings. Sometimes I see what she wants to do, in some detail. In, um, your room. Under the sheets. Over them. I can’t help it.”

She pauses and then continues, slowly. “Illyana, if I truly thought that you would be offended, I would simply keep Kitty’s feelings a secret, no matter how hard that would be for me. But we are friends now—I want to invite you into my home in the mountains when it’s safe to do so—and I know that you are open-minded, and I felt that you would probably want to know that Kitty has all those feelings now, and that they concern you, so that if she ever brings them up with you you can tell her—“

At this point it takes all the Russian girl’s self-control—and she has a great deal of self-control—not to pick up the bowl of pretzels in front of them and pour the salty lot over Dani’s head. Instead she giggles. She does not giggle often. She modulates into a lower-pitched laugh.

“Danielle Moonstar,” she says. “You certainly cannot read minds. And you definitely can’t read mine. I am—“ Illyana pauses—“very, very aware of those feelings that Kitty has. In fact, I have feelings too. You may rest assured”—now she’s going so deep-voiced it feels like a parody; is she doing Professor X? she is—“that Kitty and I have discussed them.”

“In fact”—Illyana contines now back to her normal alto, with its light Russian accent; Dani watches her throat, her eyes, her bangs, her smile—“I believe that Kitty and I have something to discuss, further, on a related matter, right now. Would you like a report on our conversation? I would not want to keep anything back from a friend.”

“Just don’t wake her up,” Dani says. “That girl needs her sleep.”

“We all do,” Illyana says, vanishing up the great staircase. “But that’s not the only thing we need.”

Dani waves at Illyana’s shoulders and hair and at her disappearing flannel-clad back. Then Dani closes her eyes. She can almost see what she wants.


End file.
